Friendship 2009

Have you thought about the word 'friend' and the responsibilities such a label carries?  Could a friend desert another?  Would a friend watch another walk into a dangerous situation?  What is the meaning of friendship?  It seems such an obvious thing, friendship, but becomes so very complicated.  Friendship means many different things to many different people.  In some places, especially prison, friendship is born of mutual profit.  While both parties are better off because of the union, friendship remains.  Unfortunately, loyalty is a part of this union and as soon as one thinks he will gain more without the other, the friendship will end quickly.  Most of those who have called me friend were only looking for the union and never gave their loyalty.

There is a fine line between friendship and parenting, and when that line is crossed, the result is often disastrous.  A parent who strives to make a friend of their child sacrifices authority, and though that parent may be comfortable with surrendering the dominant position; the unintentional result will be to steal from that child the necessary guidance and sense of security a parent is supposed to give.  On the opposite side, a friend who takes a role as a parent forgets the most important ingredient of friendship: Respect.

Respect is the guiding principle of friendship.  Friends accept each others beliefs, with humility and respect.  Friendship is a bond made of trust and respect.  Its a common ground that fosters compassion and understanding.  Haven't you ever noticed we choose our friends almost entirely on how closely there thinking matches our own?  Everyone has their blind spots, the places where they're so sure of themselves that they see only their own rightness.  It is our friends that keep us honest.

My father once said I'd be lucky if I ever had five people I could call friend.  I didn't understand what he meant.  Actually, I remember getting upset by his statement.  I thought at the time he was insulting me.  Heck, I had more friends than I could count.  It has taken years, but I've finally figured out what he was trying to tell me.