The world around me if full of criminals. The world if full of people of good character. Both of these statements are true because within most people lies the beginning points of both paths. Some people are too timid to ever be a criminal and others too kind. On the other hand, some people are too hard tempered to let their good qualities show. I believe the emotional make-up of most people lies somewhere in the middle. A shade of grey that can darken or lighten with simple interaction.
Initial impressions are difficult to overcome and sometimes become permanent, but beyond apperance and other things we cannot control, I have learned that there are limited decisions I can make concerning which reaction I will edge someone toward. The key to it all, I believe, is respect. When I walked into prison I found myself surrounded by criminals. Men who used their fists or weapons of choice on a daily basis. Yet, I rarely ever got into so much as a verbal disagreement. Why is this? Why did I not find myself immersed in disputes as regularly as so many others? What kept me safe is my ability to show respect for anyone I met. I treated people the way I wanted to be treated. I gave respect at the outset of a meeting because giving that respect cost me nothing.
This is different than the way most people veiw the world. Most people insist that respect has to be earned and as I've come to learn; earning respect isn't an easy task. I understand this point of veiw and held a similar one not so long ago. What I've come to realize is that demanding a person to earn your respect is, in of itself, an act of arrogance, a way of self-elevation that implies your respect is worth earning.
Respect is one of our most basic needs, particularly among criminals, but not limited to. An insult is just that because its an assult upon our self esteem, and that most dangerous of qualities: Pride. When I meet people they do not have to earn my respect. I give it willingly. Certainly, some people will see this as weakness, will misconstrue my intentions as sublimation rather than acceptance of equal worth. But if they choose to see it as a weakness and take advantage of their percieved advantage, Well.............
Initial impressions are difficult to overcome and sometimes become permanent, but beyond apperance and other things we cannot control, I have learned that there are limited decisions I can make concerning which reaction I will edge someone toward. The key to it all, I believe, is respect. When I walked into prison I found myself surrounded by criminals. Men who used their fists or weapons of choice on a daily basis. Yet, I rarely ever got into so much as a verbal disagreement. Why is this? Why did I not find myself immersed in disputes as regularly as so many others? What kept me safe is my ability to show respect for anyone I met. I treated people the way I wanted to be treated. I gave respect at the outset of a meeting because giving that respect cost me nothing.
This is different than the way most people veiw the world. Most people insist that respect has to be earned and as I've come to learn; earning respect isn't an easy task. I understand this point of veiw and held a similar one not so long ago. What I've come to realize is that demanding a person to earn your respect is, in of itself, an act of arrogance, a way of self-elevation that implies your respect is worth earning.
Respect is one of our most basic needs, particularly among criminals, but not limited to. An insult is just that because its an assult upon our self esteem, and that most dangerous of qualities: Pride. When I meet people they do not have to earn my respect. I give it willingly. Certainly, some people will see this as weakness, will misconstrue my intentions as sublimation rather than acceptance of equal worth. But if they choose to see it as a weakness and take advantage of their percieved advantage, Well.............
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