Prison 09'

I've got to get control over myself.  What's wrong with me?  I've lost control.  I'm used to being in control; throughout my life, in most situations, I've been in control.  I was able to effect my situation.  It was how I survived.  But here, I have no choice, it seems.  There's nothing I can do.....or is there?

I decided to welcome prison.  Welcome the soothing, cool darkness, welcome the silence.  I want the darkness, want the quiet.  I want time to reflect and think, decide on my course of action.  I need time to sort out my disturbing and confusing thoughts.

Society hope that prison will 'rehabilitate' us, that when we emerge from prison, our domineering, defiant, and cruel natures will be softened.  But something has gone wrong.  It simply isn't a mans nature to live in harmony with his fellow man.  The inmates are ruling over and controlling the lives of those weaker than themselves, depriving them of their limited freedom, forcing them to live in a manner deemed appropriate.

Patience is one virtue you learn early in prison.  Lose your temper, act impulsively, irrationally and prison will claim you.  Our guards, those who were supposed to protect us, have disappeared.  The system has failed.  The prison itself has taken over and turned from being rehabilitative to executioner.  Entire generations have been beat down.  Broken.  Countless number of people have died in this place.

There is pain, blood, and tears at every birth.  The baby always cries when it leaves it's safe place, it's quiet prison.  Yet, if it stayed in the womb, it would never grow and mature.  It would become a parasite, feeding off another body.  That's what we've become.  That's what we are.  Don't you see?  Don't you understand?