My impulsive behaviors included the use and abuse of substances and people. When children got on my nerves, I made a drink. When the wife pissed me off, I went looking for someone to stroke my ego. And when completely frustrated with life, I self destructed. I'd do anything to make myself feel better.
I spent years of my life engaged in an orgy of drugs and sexual pleasures. I allowed myself to be carried away with the mood of a party or indulge in the sex offered by random women. Parties of the purest pleasure without consideration for my actions, or the implications.
October 16, 2006: My impulsive behavior put me behind the wheel, racing down the road in a street machine of steel. I was a madman at the wheel. Driving like a maniac and couldn't go any faster. I was headed for disaster.
The dangers of substance abuse should not be underestimated. Intoxicants attack the body in various ways, from slowing reflexes to destroying coordination. The lock the mind in the present, the here and now, without regard of the future, erasing memories pleasant and painful, without consideration of the past.
My impulsive behaviors have chapened so many things I held precious and that is why they have no future in my life. I know the future will be better than the present but only as long as I work to make it so. I will not allow my impulisve behaviors to destroy all I hope to achieve.
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